Imagine a financial adviser* approached you with an investment opportunity** without telling you specifically what it was. And right up front he tells you it’s likely to generate a zero to negative return over the coming decade. What would you say?

I imagine any investor with any common sense would respond by saying something like, “why in hell would I want to own something that will generate a zero to negative return over 10 years?!”

And the adviser would likely respond with: “Well the outlook for other asset classes over the next 10 years is no more attractive than it is for this one.”

Common sense investor: “Well if it’s going to return zero or less wouldn’t even a savings account do better? Why not just own safe fixed income instruments? We can ladder them so we don’t have too much interest rate risk or opportunity cost. And it’s plain to see that plenty of asset classes offer returns better than zero over the coming decade. Why not just own them?”

Adviser: “There seems a reasonable likelihood that inflation will accelerate at some point over the next decade, and this asset class is a good hedge against inflation.”

Investor: “Okay. If runaway inflation is the only reason to own it wouldn’t TIPS or precious metals provide a better hedge considering this asset class’s extremely unattractive valuation?”

Adviser: “I have learned the hard way that market timing is very difficult and is generally a terrible idea. It’s better to just own this asset class all the time regardless of its prospective return.”

Investor: “Okay. So you’re saying you’re not confident in your ‘prospective return?'”

Adviser: “No. We’re confident. We have a variety of valuation measures that are highly correlated to the future 10-year returns of this asset class and they all say the same thing: that it’s very highly likely to return zero or less over that time frame.”

Investor: “So you’re saying that you have proven valuation measures that have been highly accurate in forecasting the return of this asset class for decades but you don’t think they’re very useful.”

Adviser: “That’s right.”

Investor: “Gotcha. I’ve got an even better deal for you. How about I sell YOU an investment that returns nothing over the next 10 years? That’s better than negative right? I’ll take the money and put it into risk-free treasuries, keep the difference between what they pay me and what I pay you (nothing) and then pay you your initial investment back at the end. How much would you like to buy?”

Adviser: “Only my employer (major bank) and the Fed can play that game, I’m afraid.”

*Thanks to Henry Blodgett for playing the “adviser.”

**US Equities