From the time the McBurger patron picks up the keys to his car, he has already decided to eat what a minority of people (health nuts) call "junk food"  or just "crap." McBurger patron knows what he wants, and it is not salad or fake low-cal French fries. He's not going to have a sudden fit of guilt and veer off to Whole Foods Market.  He's craving a high-cal, high fat feast. 

The McBurger patron wants the Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger, greasy French fries, a chocolate milkshake and the Waffullicious Blueberry Cheesecake waffle for dessert.

It's in our genes, genes that were also passed down from wolves to beagles. They say "eat," don't think, don't worry about fat, don't worry about sugar, or salt, or your blood pressure. Go for taste. And price. Store up, you may starve one day. And then what?

Brad Tuttle explains how the do-gooders thinking they can change the rule of genetics and the fast food industry are always wrong. 

The Demise of ‘Satisfries’ and the Sad History of Healthy Fast Food

By Brad Tuttle 

Burger King's much-hyped low-calorie French fries have failed to resonate with customers, which shouldn't come as a surprise given why diners go to places like BK in the first place.

American fast food customers have spoken, and what they essentially have said is that when they’re hungry for French fries, they’re focused on the fries, not calories. The message comes by way of Burger King’s announcement that after months of lackluster sales, its “Satisfries” — introduced last fall as a regular fry alternative with 30% fewer calories and 40% less fat — would disappear from two-thirds of BK’s North American locations...

What’s particularly interesting is that in the same week that Satisfries have more or less been declared a failure, Burger King reintroduced a style of “fries” back to the menu that no one is pretending is health food: Chicken Fries. In both cases, BK is saying that the decision was ultimately made by customers. Diners didn’t order enough Satisfries to keep them on most menus, so they’re gone. And as a press release explained, the return of the “cult favorite menu item” of breaded chicken strip “fries” was “sparked by an overwhelming number of enthusiastic tweets, Change.org petitions, dedicated Tumblr and Facebook pages, and phone calls from devoted fans.”

In other words, Burger King maintains that it’s simply giving diners what they want. Wendy’s spread the same message this week, announcing that the reason its Pretzel Bacon Cheeseburger—the biggest success in fast food last year—would now be on the menu permanently is because that’s what customers have demanded. “You said ‘bring it back.’ So we did,” Wendy’s Tweeted earlier this week of the 680-calorie burger. “Then you said “keep it on the menu.” And so it is.

[...]

Sadly, then, the hardcore business advice would be for McDonald’s and the rest of the fast food field to stick with their core business approach by focusing on instantly gratifying greasy fare, calories and fat be damned. Consumers may say they want healthier options, but their actions (and dollars) speak louder than words. Even the addition of calorie counts on menus are shown to not have much impact on what customers order at restaurants. A concept like Satisfries sounds great on paper, but when customers are up at the counter or eyeing the drive-thru menu, the idea of low-calorie anything probably isn’t top of mind. It just doesn’t seem satisfying enough.

[My bold emphasis. Full article The Demise of ‘Satisfries’ and the Sad History of Healthy Fast Food | Money.com]

If the idea of chicken fries--a clever name for a food that has more grease in it than chicken--doesn't make your stomach queasy, let's venture into something even more disgusting. The Waffullicious Waffles from IHOP. There are two best-selling unhealthy varieties of Waffullicious Waffles. There's the death-by-bacon version that will instantly clog up your arteries and the death-by-sugar version that will kill you slowly through the onset of diabetes.

From Claire Suddath at Bloomberg: 

Viral Fast Food's Unholy Rise

Starting this month at IHOP (DIN), you can eat a Belgian waffle topped with chunks of New York cheesecake and blueberry compote. The chain’s Very Blueberry Cheesecake Waffullicious Waffle is also stuffed with cheesecake-flavored goo and more blueberries and, at 750 calories, makes a Big Mac feel lite. The waffle, which the menu describes as “lush,” tastes like a sickly sweet dessert. Lucky customers get a free stomachache.

“If you think all this sounds desperate, you’re right,” says Bonnie Riggs, a restaurant industry analyst at research firm NPD Group. She’s talking specifically about the blueberry cheesecake monster and its savory sibling, the Bac ’n’ Cheddar Waffullicious Waffle, but also more generally about the gluttonous stunt marketing that has spread throughout the fast-food industry. KFC (YUM) has been mixing mashed potatoes, fried chicken, bacon, corn, cheese, and gravy in one bowl since 2011. In 2012, Pizza Hut (YUM) briefly sold a pizza with a crust made out of cheeseburgers. In July, TGI Fridays began offering unlimited appetizers for $10. The Olive Garden recently sold a thousand $100 “Never Ending Pasta Passes,” which give people the chance to eat as much fettuccine Alfredo as they can keep down until early November.

These promotions are tailor-made for online virality, which the chains hope will entice more customers to gorge themselves. Since 2008, U.S. restaurant visits have declined by 1.3 billion. (Millennials, hit hard by the recession, adopted the money-saving habit of eating at home.) Ruby Tuesday (RT) recently closed 30 restaurants. TGI Fridays’ parent, Carlson, sold it to two private equity firms in May. Darden Restaurants (DRI) sold Red Lobster in July so it could focus on Olive Garden. And business probably won’t improve anytime soon—NPD estimates the industry will remain stagnant until at least 2022. “We’ve never seen something like this before,” Riggs says. “So restaurants are pulling out every trick in their marketing basket to try to drive traffic.”

Check out the IHOP "core" menu. The blueberry cheesecake and bacon-cheddar waffles contain 750 and 820 calories apiece. The bacon-cheddar waffle will almost put you over your sodium limit for the day.  

Perhaps this is just further proof that things haven't changed. Sales matter, and food that has nothing going for it but calories, sugar and fat is what fast food customers want. It's nice that the walnut yogurt low-cal fruit salad is available, but no one is really buying it. 

See also:

Coke and Pepsi Pledge to Cut Calories